The Rise of Bruised Women in Utah

The Utah Falconz matchup against the Utah Blitz in their first 2014 instate blue/red rivalry game.  Falconz win 59-0.

by BREANN HILLHOUSE

Without a doubt we have all gotten some interesting reactions when telling people we play women’s football. Inevitably we’ve needed to emphasize that it is fully padded, all-women, full-field, hard-hitting tackle football. In fact, I’m willing to bet that across all teams and leagues, we have all gotten some similar reactions when we drop the “I play football” bomb. Responses have a wide variety but in the forefront of questions asked is if we play powder puff, flag or lingerie football. The most common response is an indignant and adamant NO. To suggest anything other than the real deal only serves to induce our scorn.

Have you been in a sporting goods store, scoping out some football gear but find it difficult to track down anything in your size because most of the pads, pants and padded pants are in youth sizes? You ask for help with finding a particular product and the sales person asks, “How old is your son?” I like to look the person in the eye and say, “These are for me,” then watch the realization come over their face and say, “Yeah, women’s football. It’s a thing. You should probably check it out.”

The subject of women’s football can be difficult for some to wrap their brains around. Sometimes it’s only because they don’t have a lot of brains to begin with. An individual, who we shall call Smelvin, had commented on an online video of game highlights. Smelvin asked if we play other women and I responded by saying yes, we are an all-woman team playing other women. His next comment was if we’re playing women that would explain why we are undefeated. If you guys understand his logic, could you please explain it to me? I’m still having a hard time working it out.

Clearly some people don’t fully understand, and that’s okay. Most understand all too well that full-tackle can mean serious business and express concern. They want to know if we’re scared to tackle, get tackled or if we incur any injuries. I want to laugh and say, “Falconz don’t get tackled,” but of course that is a lie. The reality, though, is that we are all incredibly proud of our bruises. We brazenly display them and brag about the sack that caused it or give credit to the person that created it. Often we get strange looks at the grocery store, at work or at school. People subtly ask if we are experiencing problems at home and if we need help. Then we’re all too happy to explain their origin.

Honestly, I have learned that there are inappropriate ways to tell someone you play football. This has been learned the hard way. During a job interview the question was asked about hobbies outside of work. It was a question designed to get a better idea of my personality and I made the poor choice of saying, “I love playing football. I work hard during the day and then go hit people.” I needed a receptacle for my word vomit but there was no taking that one back. The interviewer immediately thanked me for coming and mentioned that if I don’t hear back it was because they decided to go in a different direction. I didn’t hear back from them again. I don’t know why not, at least offer me a position in security, amiright?

Another question we get isn’t a question at all, but flagrant assumption. “You play football? I didn’t know you are a lesbian.” Sure, we have several a lot of players who are lesbian, I’ll give that to you, but it’s definitely not a requirement. I mean, at the end of the day we all like playing with balls. Footballs, guys.

A lot of people want to know if our significant others are supportive. Football does tend to take a lot of time and it’s difficult to be so committed to such a time-consuming activity without full support at home. At the end of the day our biggest fans are usually our families. They are proudly telling people that their girl plays tackle football. We are proudly forcing them to wear t-shirts that says the same.

However, the reaction received the most is my favorite of all. In fact, I look forward to telling a person I play and eagerly await what I know is coming…complete surprise. I love it. They do a double take and mentally take a step back, reevaluating me and seeing with new eyes. It makes my insides happy as they fumble for a response and settle with, “Wow, that’s awesome.” And I say, “I know, obviously.”